I recently found myself thumbing through the pages of a beauty and fashion magazine. Right away you would think this isn’t newsworthy. Believe me when I tell you, it is. I haven’t read, let alone purchased one of these types of publications in years…YEARS!! I realized I was back in familiar territory as I combed through the pages of the fall issue.It was good to “home”. It has been years since I truly embraced who I am and what I do. Lately, however, I have come to some very real truths about myself.
I have been on a path of self discovery for the last several years. This path took me light years away from the fashion and beauty industry. For years I shunned all things fashion, all the while I was harboring designer handbags and shoes in my closet. These trinkets haven’t seen the light of day in years. My path set me on a different course, I went back to school and became a Certified Health and Lifestyle coach. I should have known when it was time to pick a niche market that I was in the wrong place. Yet, I went through the motions. This never felt like home. I was a guest in my own life.
The path of lifestyle coaching found me focusing on many niches, and not one of them felt right to me. Along the way I discovered a spiritual path as well. In fact, I have been on many paths, focusing on many things. I came to some undeniable realizations about myself. All of the parts make up the whole.
Finding My Way Back Home
The journey to self discovery has been paved with many challenges. Always denying parts of me to seem more spiritual or more fat acceptable. I wore many hats. Now I wear a new hat, a more permanent hat. I am me. I am spiritual, I am an advocate for positive body image, I support HAES (Healthy at Every Size), I love and miss yoga and I support and live by a Paleo lifestyle. I’ve learned, along this journey, I suffer from two autoimmune diseases, another of which led me to a different niche. When I stopped searching I realized these interests are a part of who I am, not what I do.
I have learned that of the many hats I wore, none were of the job I was doing every day. I am a beauty consultant at a luxury store. I never wanted to identify with that title, or that job for that matter. To this day I am not sure what I was hiding from. Maybe I was trying to be a part of something I knew deep down I never would. Sure I hoped for the Hay House publishing contract, I wanted to be considered a thought leader of our time. The reality is, I am in the fashion industry. There is no shame in that, it is a great career with great benefits.
I love the spiritual side of my life, but it has become more sacred to me. Something I carry with me that is mine and mine alone. I believe in women accepting themselves as they are. There is a whole movement in the fashion idustry catering to this thought.
The one constant that has stayed the same through out this journey is, I love to write. The writing just has to change. I am no longer going to write from a coaching perspective, rather, I will be writing from my perspective. The topics can be about what ever I want. I may write about meditation one day and the latest from Chanel the next. I like to keep myself and you guessing. I know longer have to worry about offending a potential client, because I don’t care. I write for me. I no longer have to “manage” my social media, worrying that something will be taken out of context and offend a potential client. For now, it is all about me. I like that. I think back to a time in my life when I was at my happiest. I was doing the same job I am now, enjoying my life, writing as I saw fit, about what I saw fit. It feels good to know myself, it’s great to be back in fashion, as it were. All I can say is….it’s good to be home.