Standing In Truth

In a recent post, which seems like ages ago, I wrote about becoming a coach. More specifically a body image coach. Since then not much has been written. I have been blocked, only this block has been different, it seems as if I have been hiding behind my truth. Many times over the last few weeks I have been thinking the problem is out there, not inside, not in my soul. I seem to have trouble getting everything down in a post, and risking judgement. How funny given that I try to practice non-judgement as a way of life. In coaching that is a cornerstone of my practice, in my life. FEAR.

“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” 
 Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within

I vowed in with that post, I would be more transparent, more honest, more real. I committed to showing you my authentic life.  Standing in your truth is daunting, at least, when you have become the master of hiding behind it. How many times have you wanted to share yourself authentically only to feel an overwhelming amount of fear stop you? Being yourself and putting yourself out there is unnerving on so many levels. What if they laugh? What if you get ridiculed? What if you are judged? What if you are? So what? 

I know, those questions have been on my mind. Easy to say so what, different all together to believe it. In looking at the reality of living a life out on the edge, letting the world in to see you, all the raw parts, the scary parts, well, that is brave. The reality is, we can recover from the judgments, the ridicule, all of it. I am reminded of the quote, “what others think of you is none of your business”. What if that is really true? I think it is.  In that spirit, I am going to go out on that limb and tell you a few truths about myself, get ready, some are shocking.

The Real Me ~ An Authentic Life

1. I am not a skinny coach, I am not even completely fit. Of course, I thought this was a necessity to being a good coach, WRONG!

2. I am going to be 50 in two months AND will get my first tattoo (sorry folks, again 50)

3. I am deeply spiritual person, I have an altar in my meditation room where I seek answers and meditate.

4. I consult with Oracle cards

5. I renewed my yoga practice and feel new again, I am hoping to approach yoga junkie status very soon

6.I believe that not everyone in the healing field is authentic, I believe much of it is for personal gain

7. I was raised in a conservative house and turned out to be completely liberal

8. As a Certified Health Coach, I just sought the help of a Naturopath and hope to give up Western doctors all together

9. Working in retail, I don’t always like people. That is a biggie, how can I be enlightened if I don’t like everyone? 

10. I know that if I don’t listen to Natalie Goldberg and write it down, I will not be happy. I feel it in my bones. I have been writing since I was in junior high. It has and will always be my greatest passion

What about you? Do you have things you want to share? Who you really are? This is my short list, but in weeks to come I will be blogging about my life, however it shows itself. I will not be writing just about coaching, nutrition, body image. I will be writing about EVERYTHING. It is the only way to bring the mind and my spirit into alignment. It is time to be an open book…..

5 thoughts on “Standing In Truth

  1. Hi Caren, I love writing. A few years ago someone asked me what I did and I answered “I’m a writer”! This took so much courage but I said it!! Then I started participating in writing prompts which was a great help. I read a couple of Julia Camerons books and started writing morning pages. I can now get quite a few words written on the page. Why have I been so afraid of admitting to myself that I’m a writer? Not sure but I know that writing keeps me sane and I plan to keep at it. I love the quote by Natalie Goldberg. I guess that’s what happens with writing because if one is baring one’s soul for all to read we are vulnerable. Like you said we open ourselves to judgement and criticism. It’s about stretching, growing and moving out of our comfort zone. Thank you for your post!

  2. Caren,

    I love that you share more about you! I’ve known you for many years online, and to discover stuff I didn’t know
    well makes me feel much closer.


    Love you.

  3. Hi Caren, I found you through Kim Larocque’s wonderful site and am so glad she shared this. When I started my blog, I was determined to write what I felt and not worry about what people would think…to bare my soul. Of course, I still felt terrified about some of my posts and what people would think of me…that’s natural, I think. I suffer from an anxiety/panic disorder and depression and the one thing I can say about it is…it made me not care as much about what people thought. I say not “as much” because my condition still makes me feel vulnerable and embarrassed a lot of times, something I’m working on not allowing.
    The post I just read made me like you tremendously and in fact, I just bookmarked your site and will be reading it from now on. So, that’s what you opening up did and I hope it makes you feel more comfortable.And nothing you said shocked me! Good for you for taking this step!

    1. Thank you Sheila. I have been moving towards a more open and transparent platform. As daunting as it can be, it is also very freeing. Thank you for becoming a reader. I am always honored when I gain a new reader. Much love to you.

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