I used to think I was one of those people that didn’t like change. I always thought I was happy with the way the things were, the status quo. As I sat in a quiet reflection this morning, that being under my covers in my comfortable bed, I realized, I am all about change. When I think about change and how much I thought I abhored the mere thought of it, I have concluded, I am all about revision.
I started thinking back over the last several years of my life. If there is one constant, it is reinvention. I am constantly reinventing myself. So much so, I actually have a friend that seems “confused” at how I seem to shift myself. If change is good, reinvention is better. I think I just like the word reinvention better. Looking back over my life, I have held many incarnations. Some people might call them phases. They aren’t. To me, the difference between a phase and reinventing myself is, reinventing is a whole head to toe mindset, a total reconstruction of the self.
Jumping In With Both Feet
When I jump, I jump into something at full throttle. I recently commented that my vegan/hippie-ish lifestyle was a phase, it wasn’t. It was a reinvention. I dove headfirst into the lifestyle. My thoughts changed, my attitudes adjusted. I was a full on vegan/hippie. I went back to school to become a holistic health coach. My spirituality was on par with the lifestyle. I became a yoga enthusiast. I was living a life I loved. Or so I thought. That lifestyle simply ran its course. Some habits from that reinvention have carried over into my current way of living. I still have a spiritual life, I still love yoga, I still believe meditation and journaling are lifesavers. I just consider them more sacred and not something to dogmatize about every chance I get. I have jumped into a new one, one that feels more permanent for me, a least for now.
I have embraced my life in the reality that is retail. That is my job, it is what I have done my whole life. Aside from my stint of school and coaching, retail has been the only constant in my life. I admonished the fashion and beauty industry during my time as holistic health coach. All the while I was deeply immersed in that world. I guess I just finally woke up in my real world. I am lucky to work in a beautiful, luxury environment, one I was ashamed of for so long. The fact of the matter is, I love the world of fashion. How much you may wonder? I love it enough, that while an account executive in the fragrance industry, I worked my ass off to win tickets to fashion week many years ago. I was up against several other execs, but I won. It was a fantastic experience and one I had forgotten about until right now. Obviously my love of fashion and beauty goes far back, I was an account exec in the 90’s. To say fashion hasn’t always been a part of my life would be a lie.
Maybe the time for reinvention is over, maybe it’s time to just be. Life is fluid, we are always evolving. Sometimes we experiment with new things. Sometimes we even take it to extremes. I know myself, I am an all of nothing person. So once again I have jumped in, with both feet, into the land of reinvention. I am back to loving the world of fashion, of devouring all that Vogue, and all the other fashion magazines has to offer. I like this me, I’ve done it before. It is a comfortable space for me. Time to curl up with a cocktail and a fashion magzine and enjoy this reinvention…..for now.