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Back on Track, Again….

Getting Back on Track 

I’m taking a vacation week this week from my job. I decided to do a self imposed retreat. I decided it was time to get back on track. I had it all planned out. I was going to read all those great spiritual books I have, start back on my AIP (autoimmune protocol) and, of course, write. The funny thing about this is, I am great at making plans. Keeping plans is another story. I am back on my AIP, sort of. I am finding that eliminating coffee is not in my wheelhouse. As for the reading, well, I did charge my Kindle. So for the writing….well here I am. 

The biggest thing for me this week, aside from the writing, is getting back on AIP. I decided to get on the scale yesterday and discovered I had put on a whopping 15 pounds. That’s right!! 15 unwanted, ugly pounds. I wish I could say I was surprised, the reality is, I was not. How could I be surprised when I knew exactly how the pounds showed up. I tried to reason with myself that I have been so stressed out since the Mother’s first trip to the hospital back in February. After all, there have been a few more ER visits. Surely, that was the reason for my out of control behavior. Could it be the numerous happy hours with friends? Not likely, there haven’t been 15 pounds worth of happy hours. Wait! It must be the autoimmune diseases, they put weight on. A likely excuse if I ever heard one. So what could possibly have been the reason for my sudden (not so sudden) weight gain? ME!!!

I have used every excuse in the book. To be fair, the autoimmune disease really is my favorite. The fact is, autoimmune disease does account for weight gain. Eating sugar, dairy and gluten does too. When I say I have been having a free for all, that is a mild understatement. It really is a catch 22 if you ask me. Seriously, the very foods I am addicted to are also triggers for autoimmune disease. Go figure.  I have written and talked about food addiction so many times, and once again, the addiction has reared its ugly head. And just like all those conversations, I also knew it was time to get back on track….again. The issue for me is food addiction and my autoimmune disease are like frenemies. These two conditions reside in the same space, my body. Okay so maybe the food addiction is more in my head, but I’ll tell you, rarely am I thinking clearly when I sit down to a delicious treat. I know in the back of my mind these foods are bad for me. They cause flares and discomfort that I wouldn’t wish on my enemies. So why do I treat myself this way?

Taking Back my Health

If I had the answer to that question, I would know how to fix the problem. For me, it is one day at a time. Yesterday was a good day, food wise. Emotionally I was ready to throw in the towel. I hadn’t had coffee all day, tea just didn’t suffice. I stayed on protocol and while I know I was doing good for my body, my mind was doing battle. Getting back on track isn’t easy. I know because I have done in numerous times. I also know, my health is my greatest asset. It really is a marathon, not a sprint. I have said many times, AIP isn’t for wussies. It isn’t. You give up so much. What you gain is a healthier lifestyle, a body that functions as it should and less flares. So why, if I know this do I still sabotage my health? 

Addiction!!! Hello, why else? Maybe that was a little dramatic. How much loonnger can I blame food addiction on my poor habits? For now I am taking it one day at a time, one meal at a time. I made it through breakfast unscathed. I did, however have coffee. After all, I’m striving for progress not perfection.

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